Ezekiel, Through Modern Eyes

A Modern Translation of Ezekiel

Chapter 1

1: So it happened on April 5th of the 30th year, that I was with some prisoners by the Chebar river, that the sky parted, and I saw something and assumed it was God.

2: It was the 5th of April, and king Jehoiachin had been a prisoner for five years.

3: God talked specifically to Ezekiel, the son of Buzi, on Chaldean soil, by the Chebar river; and something was pressing on him, which I assumed was God.

4: And I looked, and wow! There was something that looked like a descending funnel cloud, a huge one, and it was burning with fire, and it was so bright it glowed, and there was something coming out of that, and it was the color of fire.

5: And out of that came four things that I assumed were living creatures. And they reminded me of humans.

6: They each had four facades, and four things to fly with.

7: They had straight feet which were like a cow's foot; and they sparkled like polished brass.

8: Under their extremities for flying, were hands like a human's on each facade; all four of these things had these facades and these things for flying.

9: The things they used to fly were joined to each other; and when they moved, they didn't rotate, and all of them moved in a straight line.

10: The facades looked like this: on their right sides were a human face and a lion face; on their left side was an ox's face; and they also had an eagle's face.

11: That's how their faces looked: the things they used for flying were stretched upward, and were joined in pairs and covered their torsos.

12: And they went in a straight line: wherever they wanted to go, they were going there; and they didn't rotate in the process.

13: These things that I assumed to be living creatures, whatever they were they looked like they were made out of burning embers; this fire-like appearance strobed up and down their bodies, and out of this shot some electricity.

14: But all this happened really fast and there was a bright flash, and then they had returned to their point of origin.

15: And where they returned to, there was something that reminded me of a wheel now upon the earth, and it had four facades.

16: And now there were more of these and whatever they were doing, it gave off a light blue color like a beryl stone; there were four of them, all identical; and their appearance and their action looked like a wheel at the center of a wheel.

17: But as these four wheel-shaped things went, they went with the flat-side down: and they didn't turn as they moved.

18: Now they reminded me of rings, and they were now so high up in the sky that it scared me, and there were things all around the circumference that made me think of eyes.

19: And the things I talked about before that reminded me of living creatures went about preceding the wheel-things, which followed the creature-things: and when the creature-things went higher in the sky, so did the wheel-things.

20: Wherever they wanted to go, that's where they went, that's where they wanted to go: and the wheel-things then went above the creature-things, so I think that the wheel-things controlled the creature-things.

21: They moved in sync; they stopped in sync; they rose in sync: so I knew that the wheel-things controlled the creature-things.

22: And on top of these was a monstrous, colored, stretched glassy-thing.

23: Under this they each had two straight wings stretching out over their bodies.

24: And when they moved, they made a ton of noise, which sounded like rushing waters, as loud as a very powerful thing, sounding like speech, like the noise of a whole army: and when they stopped, their wings were lowered.

25: And once they were still and their wings had lowered, there was a noise coming from the stretched glassy thing at the top.

26: And then above that was the image of a throne, and then the image of a saphhire stone, and then the image of a human upon the image of a throne.

27: And the man's groin was glowing an amber color, and the glow spread out over his whole body above and below, and it glowed like a fire.

28: The glowing reminded me of a rainbow. I guess I was seeing the face and the power of God. Seeing this, I fell on my face, and that's when I heard a voice speaking.

Chapter 2

1: The voice said, "Human, stand up so I can talk to you."

2: And something controlled me and lifted me up and sat me on my feet, so I could hear he who was speaking.

3: And he said to me, "Son of a human, I'm sending you to Israel, to a rebellious nation that has rebelled against me: they and their fathers have pissed me off, and they're still doing it.

4: They are bratty children and I can't change their minds; you will tell them, This is what God says.

5: And whether they want to hear it or don't, (because they are in organized rebellion,) they will know that there has been a messenger among them.

6: And you, son of a human, don't you fear them, or fear what they say, even though briers and thorns are there with you, and you will be among scorpions; don't be afraid of what they say, nor discouraged by their facial expressions, even though they are in organized rebellion.

7: And you're going to tell them what I want you to tell them, whether they like it or not: because they are serious about this rebellion.

8: But you, son of a human, listen up: Don't you be rebellious or join them: now open your mouth, I'm going to feed you something.

9: When I looked, something like a hand was coming at me, and a rolled-up thing that reminded me of a scroll was in the hand;

10: And the hand unrolled the scroll, and it was covered in writing; and the writing was of regret, and mourning, and worry.

Chapter 3

1: Then God said to me, "You, born of a Human, eat so you can find; here, eat this roll, and then go talk to the Israelites."

2: So I opened my mouth, and God made me eat the roll.

3: And God said to me, "You human, swallow it, and digest it." So I did; and it was really sweet.

4: And God said to me, "You human, go to Israel, and let me put words in your mouth.

5: "Because, you're not being sent to foreigners, but to Israel;

6: "Not to people with a weird, difficult language that you can't understand. If I had, they'd pay attention.

7: "But Israel won't listen to you; because they don't listen to me; because all the Israelites are apathetic brats.

8: "Look! I gave you a rugged face and a big forehead, moreso than theirs."

9: "Yes, you have a very hard head: so don't be concerned about how they look at you, even though they are a bunch of people with their own stubborn and dangerous ideas."

10: What's more, God then said: "Now the stuff I'm going to say to you, believe it in your heart and hear it with your ears.

11: And go to them of the captivity, go to the children of your people, and tell them God said, whether they like it or not.

12: Then something picked me up, and there was a lot of noise like a rushing, and something said, "Blessed is God's self-congratulatory nature."

13: I heard also the noise that God's flying things make, and even louder was the noise of his things that move on land, and there was a loud rushing sound.

14: So, something that I didn't understand picked me up, and took me away, and I got pissed off, and boy was I hot; but something I didn't understand was physically restraining me.

15: And suddenly I was in Telabib at the river Chebar, where there were some prisoners, and I sat down where they were, and I just sat there, totally confused for the next seven days.

16: After seven days, I heard God's voice saying to me,

17: "You son of a human, I've sent you to spy on Israel; therefore, tell them a warning that I instruct you to say.

18: "If I tell a bad person they're gonna die; and you don't warn him, or warn him about what he did wrong; he's going to die; but I'm going to make you kill him.

19: "But if you do warn this bad person, and he doesn't see things my way or do what I say, then that's exactly what's going to kill him. But you obeyed me and meant it.

20: "And the same goes for someone who used to see things my way; if he doesn't see things my way anymore, and I ruin his life, he'll die; because you didn't warn him about me, he will die on my bad side, and nothing good he's ever done will be remembered; and I'm going to make you kill him.

21: "Still if you do warn him that good people don't get on my bad side, and then he doesn't get on my bad side, then he won't die, because you told him; and then too, you did what I said and believed it was right."

22: And something I didn't understand was physically pushing on me again; and God said to me, "Get up, go to the plain, and I'll talk with you some more."

23: So I got up, and went on out to the plain; and look, some amazing stuff that I attributed to God was there, reminding me of what I'd seen by the river Chebar; and I fell face-first on the ground.

24: Then something came and controlled my body, and made me stand up, and used my mouth to talk, and instructed me, "Go lock yourself up in your house.

25: "But, you son of a human, check it out, you're going to tie yourself up, and not go out to see the people:

26: "And I'm going to cause your tongue to injure the roof of your mouth by piercing it, so that you can't talk, and can't express disapproval with them: because they have dangerous ideas that I don't like.

27: "But when I want to possess your body and force you to talk, I'll make you talk, and you will say to them, These are God's words; If you hear it, fine, if you don't like it, fine; because they have ideas that I don't like."

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